familiesOur Adoption Story: Susan and Rob
I always said we would either have our own or adopt our own. Those were the exact words I used.
Back in the summer of 2000, Rob and I had reached a monumental period in our relationship. We'd been married four years and I was ready to "start trying". He was still on the fence as he had not completed his PhD in Philosophy, but I was sort of strong arming him. We signed up for Natural Family Planning Classes where we would learn to better understand my cycle and when I was likely to become pregnant.
Earlier that same year, I had begun having pain when I ate food. I would describe my experience with food as one where I'd chew the food and LOVE the taste, but as I swallowed it, I felt as if I would get a brain freeze (like when you eat ice cream too fast) -- only it was in my chest rather than my head. This excruciating pain caused me to drastically reduce my intake of food, and I lost a lot of weight. I'd been to see the doctor numerous times, she repeatedly assured me it was most likely something as simple as acid-reflux and began treating me with a variety of meds. Over the course of six weeks nothing worked, so in mid-June my doctor scheduled an endoscopy for me. During the endoscopy another doctor found what he labeled "suspicious cells" and a second endoscopy was scheduled. We figured the cells were pre-cancerous at worst. But when we went into the office for the second endoscopy, the doctor told me he thought I had cancer. You are never prepared to hear those words! As he spoke them to me, I felt as if the floor opened up from under me and I plummeted twelve stories!
To make a long story short, it was cancer of the esophagus. The cancer I had is generally found in elderly men who drink and smoke a lot and me (who doesn't smoke and only drinks red wine occasionally). Every health care professional who worked with me would begin the conversation with, "You know ... you're not supposed to have this disease." I'd agree and we'd move into my treatment. My cancer was very deadly (only 15% of the people who get it survive much less thrive) s o the treatment was extremely intense. I went through chemotherapy, radiation, and a drastic surgery called an esophajectomy. The pain I went through is more than any human should have to bear. Coming out of surgery, the epidural that was supposed to control my post-surgical pain did not take and I had no relief for what seemed like an eternity.
In the spring of 2001 after I'd completed treatment, I decided I did not want to experience that drastic a pain again. I told Rob I did not want to try and get pregnant ... ever. But time has a way of healing old wounds and three years down the road I thought I should at least consider it. We consulted with a high risk obstetrician and got the okay from him. But my oncologist (who saved my life and whom I absolutely love) asked us to consider adoption. The risks involved in pregnancy were all hypothetical .... you see, there were no other women of child bearing age who had done well enough after my kind of cancer to even consider getting pregnant ... but if any of the risks were to come to pass, they would surely kill me. We had a long conversation that day and quickly made the decision to adopt. God has given me so much grace. I cried ... for about two minutes ... let go of the idea of ever being pregnant ... and looked ahead to the child that was destined to be ours. As I said from the start, we would either have our own or adopt our own.
In many ways, cancer was the best thing that ever happened to us. God has a way of working things out, doesn't He? That rocky period in our lives strengthened our relationship and solidified the commitment we have toward one another. Rob was not ready to be a father back in 2000. Now we're on the same page. He is looking forward to this child as much I am. We are both prepared and willing to make the sacrifices that come along with parenthood and are waiting anxiously for the inevitable joys that will also ensue.
Why China? I'm not really sure I can answer that other than to say that is where our daughter is. As soon as we decided to adopt, I knew China was the country we would turn to. My heart just couldn't let it go even as we considered other countries. And Zoe picked her own name. We had always talked of naming our child Janine Marie. But after finalizing the decision to adopt from China, I woke up one morning and said, "Let's name her Zoe Christine and keep part of her Chinese name as a second middle name." Rob liked that idea.
I have loved every moment of my emotional pregnancy! I'm absent minded and I stopped sleeping through the night months ago. Rob likes to tell me I'm "like a little bird nesting away." I enjoy sitting in the baby's room and reading. I'm glued to my computer! And best of all ... I'm now in my third trimester and I don't have a single stretch mark!!!
Some friends have struggled through the wait, but we have found it to be wonderful! Rob and I are definitely enjoying the journey and making the most of our final days as a couple without a child!
As referrals draw close, I'm absolutely awestruck that this is really going to happen! We're going to be parents! How exciting, joyous, wonderful, delicious, and every other adjective that describes sheer and utter happiness!
